Small Losses = Huge Gains

The truth is that all things that begin with a minus in front of them are usually associated with negative things. In school a minus sign usually indicated that you were on the verge of dropping a letter grade. In finance that minus is an indicator of money lost or spent. (This seems to happen more as you grow up. Yay bills!) But on the scale, and especially when trying to get healthy after years of abuse, that minus sign means that you are doing something right.

This past week I had a lot of challenges, celebrations, and kind of a stressful work week. And through it all, I still managed to lose a little under 3 lbs. This brings me to 27 lbs of weight loss during the time I have been on this program. I am not stuck on the fact that it is less weight loss than I have had in weeks past, but that I now weigh less than I have in weeks past. I am owning this battle, I am fighting and grinding out results. I am not a slave to a diet, or some guy that is so stuck on the big picture that I am not able to see that small victories. This week was a success, I lost more weight, and will continue to succeed as long as I remember that I am going to take down this wall brick by brick, until I am able to fully see me.

Sorry, this was short and sweet, but honestly I just don't know what else to say. Keep sweating, and keep searching, deep inside is the healthy you waiting to get out people.

The First 24.

So if you have learned anything about me in the time that you have been following my blog, you know this. I am stubborn. I am the guy that wants it all, and on his terms. Well this week I am starting to realize, my terms need to shift. Shift, alter, change, tailor, these are all words that for the longest time represented negatives in my mind. Because I am a creature of comfort, I am the path of least resistence. If life were an automoblie, I would be the Ford Excursion, I am big, and rugged, and roomy, and if we were really being honest, unnecessarily large, awkward to park, inefficient on fuel. So how do I go from Excursion to Fuel Economical Truck? Let's face it people, a Masserati I am not. Nor do I aspire to be.

I take the past week and look at it, and reflect and say "that was a step in the right direction." Sure there were things that I ate that we not great for me. Like a cookie, or 2 tsp of Pizooki and ice cream, or the 2 pieces of French Bread. All of those were things that I could've done differently, and in the future I may do that. But all of those things were choices I made. Decisions, and I was good with them when I made them. It meant I had to walk more, it meant that I needed to track them, and be honest with myself. It meant that other times I was going to have to say no to wants during the week. I am proud to say that I did, and it showed. I officially dropped a pant size. That felt so good, to slip on a pair of jeans that used to not fit, and know that I was moving in the right direction. Currently those pants are getting roomy, so I know more is yet to come.

So I showed up to the doctor today, and found out what this last week held, and wouldn't you know it, I lost a good chunk of weight again. My doctor told me "I am proud of you," "I love the way that you keep great records of your eating" "You are a grinder, you just keep moving forward, and don't get hung up on things like rough weeks last week." This was great news, and the word grinder made me think of the way I play poker, ruthless, methodical, patient, persistent, and successful. I had my word, my little mantra that will get me through rough weeks, and tough decisions. I would just keep "grinding." I have blood work that the doctor wants done on 3/20/11. That will be 2 months on the program, and we will look at my glucose levels, and insulin level. He is expecting great things, and you know what so am I.

Scale Tales:

1/20/11- I weighed 361 lbs
1/26/11- I weighed 353 lbs
2/3/11- I weighed 345 lbs
2/9/11- I weighed 344 lbs
2/17/11- I weighed 337 lbs

Total loss to date 24.2 lbs!!!!!

So shifting, altering, tailoring, changing, bring them all on. I am willing to do the hard work that it is to get where I want to be. I will see me for who I am, and not what I have told myself I was able to be. Let the good times roll, and let the grinding continue.

Cheaters never prosper

As you can probably tell based off of my title, this is not the rah rah week that the last two have been. Quite frankly this week, I was bad. This week after doing so well and losing the first two weeks I felt that I was entitled to a little treat. So I had a little bread, which in of itself would have been fine. I am not that disciplined though, and a little bread on one day became a little more the next day, some chips on another day, a little bit of cheese in passing, and last night my Achilles Heel, pizza. I was still taking my shake in the morning and eating right for the most part, but I was eating some things I was craving, and that was alright, right?

So the scale showed me what I thought, you mix in some bad with alot of good. And what you have is not totally bad, but not really all that good either. I lost, but not like I should have. I talked to the nutritionist today and went over some planning and strategy tips for kicking my butt in gear and how to plan for the "unexpected". Honestly it felt like pre-gaming for a football game, so I was getting kind of stoked. Exercise is going to be a bigger part of this week, and no more cheating, because I am only prolonging my unhealthy body, and trapping myself in an existence that I know is untimately not good for me.

The Tale of the Scale:

On 1/20/11 I weighed 361 lbs
On 1/26/11 I weighed 353 lbs
On 2/03/11 I weighed 345 lbs
On 2/09/11 I weighed 344 lbs

So far I have lost 17 lbs in 20 days. Good job in the sense that I am losing, but I know that I can do better.

Goal for this week is 13 lbs, I think that I can do it, and rather than aiming for good, I am going to go for my best. I think that I deserve that. That would also be 30 lbs of loss within a month. So wish me luck, and please pray that for my own good I learn to embrace the rules.

Second Week Slump?

Well, here we are again my friends, and I wish that I could tell you that I am this awesome rock of a man, that is impervious to food temptations and is "the man" when it comes to staying on track. But that is not me, and this world of weightloss is littered with moments where we all stumble. I am no different. The question that I had to ask myself is what type of man am I?

Well this second week I feel that I am doing a lot better about knowing the man that I am, and using that to my advantage in this bout with fixing the weight issue that has plauged me for a long time. So therefore knowing myself I know that I have to stay on plan, and the plan must be a part of my daily routine. So I am working on doing all my eating and supplement taking at the same times. That worked great most of the week. I have a plan no matter where I am, at home, at work, and at my girlfriend's house. All the places that I would be in a week I have good food, and support waiting for me. I also know that I like a variety of food, well if you read last week, the food list I have is not really that diverse, so I did what I could. I NEED the process of tracking my food, even when its revealing that I messed up a little. As much as I want to check my progress on a scale during the week before my weigh ins, I don't. I have been on the other side of that, and obsessed, and that is not healthy for me. So, here are some of the high points about my week, and some of the snags that I ran into. To share one or the other only would be less than open with you guys, and with myself.

SNAGS:

1. There were moments that I ate food that was off of the list.
2. I could have been more diligent with working out harder.
3. I could have tried to look for more recipes to not have such a "boring" diet.

SUCCESSES:

1. When I ate off the list, I was making conscious decissions, and set myself up for tasting and enjoying something without all the excess guilt. (sharing meal with my girlfriend so that only half the temptation was there. Eating 3 Pretzel M&Ms and then handing the bag back. Having peace about my decisions and not beating myself up about them. Knowing that the weightloss was a numbers game, and that if on the average I was better that I used to be, I was going to have good results.)
2. I will get better at this, and I am placing some tangible goals for excercise in my near future. ( Warrior Dash, and Pat Tilman Run) I am looking at you.
3. Well I love to cook, so this should be no problem. On the upside, I have found out I make pretty salads, (more color, more appeal in my book) my grilling is making me feel extra manly. Thanks to my new friend Guillermo (my girlfriend's new grill) grilling has been an awesome experience, and we are eating healthy together.
4. I tracked my butt off, and for me that is so huge, I used to leave things off in my past trys at losing weight, but not writing it down, doesn't erase that it happend. This ownership over my food has been great for my journey.
5. I feel the love, people have been encouraging both on here, and in my life in general.
6. Clothes is getting less restrictive. Loose clothing is a good indicator that things are heading in the right direction.

The Tale of the Tape:

1/20/2011- I weighed 361 lbs

1/26/2011- I weighed 353 lbs

2/3/2011- I weighed 345 lbs

So far I am 16 lbs less me! I feel great, I feel motivated, and I feel that I am more than capable of doing this.

Things that I am learning along the way:

Trust: Trust the system. Trust yourself to make the right choices. Trust God, to walk with you through your trials, even if they are ones that you have made for yourself. I have been prayerful in this experience, not that God would make this all just go away, but that he would be there walking through this with me as I find myself doubting, or dealing with things and issues from my past that have come up along the way of doing this.

Thanks for reading, and I look forward to keeping you posted on this journey I am on.

The First Week.

So last Thursday I stepped onto the scale and got the news that I already knew was going to be there. So I did, and I saw what always has made me cringe, my weight. 361 lbs. Their was no pity this time, there was no outrage, and there was no shame. I was beyond all those emotions, I was beyond allowing my weight to be my defining characteristic. This trip to the scale was simple, it was a starter's pistol, it was the opening kick-off, it was the bell sounding and signaling that the fight had begun.

This was the first time is such a very long time that the scale did not scare me, because I realize that the scale is not evil, and it does not hold a grudge against me. It is a tool. Plain and simple it is a measuring device. One that I was going to be good friends with. So I stepped off the scale and into my doctor's office.

Dr. Scott Rigden is a weightloss specialist based in Chandler, AZ. He has been doing this for 30 plus years, and been in the valley for 28 of them. He was the "Big Bad Wolf" in my eyes. Atleast last year. It was suggested I go see this doctor last year. But I "knew what I needed to do," and "didn't need help." I guess I will tell you this much upfront, I hate asking for help. It pains me, and makes me feel like I am failing at things, almost as if I am the only person that has ever asked for help. But this year I decided to mix things up this year. I was going to stop BS-ing myself. I was going to be honest with myself, and I was going to love myself. That being said I admitted, "I need help, even if I don't necessarily want to ask for it." "I don't know everything there is to know about weight loss." "I wanted to make myself a priority, and that was okay." Also I had to come to grips with the fact that this was going to be hard, but that good things were worth the hard work it takes to get them.

So after meeting with the good doctor I found out I was in good health now, despite all the excess weight I was carrying around, but that if I was not going to reign this weight issue in, I was setting myself up for diabetes, heart attacks, and generally a life of feeling like crap. My bloodwork showed slightly elevated cholesterol (no biggie), my triglycerides "bad cholesterol" were low (great news), and my good cholesterols were in a good range. Those will go up as I am exercising more. The glucose level that shows for diabetes said this to me "you are out of rope, so either get back in range or you are going to be left hanging." There was these enzymes that cause arteries to clog later in life, and they were high, so this new life change was going to do great things for my health if I was diligent. The great news is that all these things were reversible through eating better and exercising.

This sounds easy and obvious to most people, but I am learning that because my body is not responding to insulin in the way that most people's does due to my weight, that my weight loss is not the simple calories in vs calories burned equation that I had been using for so long. My body even when fed less calories was storing its calories as fat, because it thought it was not getting enough food. (Weird stuff) I am carbohydrate sensitive and have metabolic syndrome. ( I can tell you more about that some other time.) So in order to reverse the way my body works, this is my new diet. I am going to just list what I can eat and can't, its easier to understand that way.

GOOD

1. Green Leafy veggies
2. Lean meat, and fish
3. Low Glycemic Fruit (apples, oranges, apricots, berries, peaches, plums etc.
4. Almonds, and most other nuts (no peanuts)
5. Water

BAD

1. Wheat, corn, and rice (Grains be gone)
2. Bananas, Pineapple (This made me sad, not going to lie)
3. Beans (Crime against Hispanic Males)
4. Potatoes (Do I even need to say anything here? Potatoes are amazingly tasty.)
5. Dairy (where is the cheese please?)
6. Sugars (Processed sugar, and sweets)

Now before you guys get really up in arms and yell at me, know this. I need this type of restricted diet, and it is going to be fine. Also this is like a vacation from those foods not a divorce. I will be on this restricted food list until I am atleast under 300lbs. After that point we will re-evaluate and modify the meal planning.

Water is key in this lifstyle, and I am hitting the water hard. Its filling, refreshing, and great for your body, go out and drink some water right now, don't worry I'll wait. ;)

THE EXTRAS:

1. Breakfast is replaced by a soy protein shake fortified with vitamins and minerals
2. Fish Oil is being taken twice daily to promote the level of good oils in my body.
3. I am taking a supplement that helps lower my above average level of insulin. Essentially I am a car and we are flushing my system.

EXERCISE:

Mostly aerobic: For now its walking since I am so heavy, but I am doing some resistence training to build muscle and turn into a fat burning machine.

TRACKING:

I am litterally tracking everything that goes into my mouth. If its important enough to bite, its important enough to write.

RESULTS:

1/20/2011 I weighed 361 lbs

1/26/2011 I weighed 353 lbs

So far so good, I am 8 lbs less of me, and feeling great. So please continue to follow along with me, on this journey. I will see you later. Hopefully you'll be seeing alot less of me in the weeks, and months to come. Sorry that was a horrible weightloss joke.

Now is the Time!

Well folks, after a longer hiatus than I had anticipated, here we go again. If you are reading this you already know I have a weight problem. This is the year that things turn around, I just know it. This year I am committing to losing the weight, but more importantly, get healthy. Its been so long since I have seen healthy, I kind of miss it. But fear not healthy, Juan is coming to visit real soon.

You may ask me "why is this year any different?" Well this is the year that I am admitting that I need help. This is monumental for me in the fact that I am a stubborn pain in the butt who hates to ask for help. So now I have a team, I have a Doctor, a nutrutionist, and a trainer. Most importantly I have God, and a team of people that love and are praying for me during this new lifestyle.

So here is the pillars on which I will be focusing this year on this goal, but also in life.

1. It's Possible!
2. It's Necessary!
3. I CAN!!!!!!
4. I WILL!!!!!
5. It's hard, but Juan can do hard!

So if you'd like more info, stay tuned. This year is about seeking out what I know to be there deep down. The real me.

Maintaining the Status Quo, and the struggles of coming home.

Well this was my first week of coming back home from vacation. I must tell you now that I lost no weight, but also did not gain any. This week was rough, felt like I was getting caught up at work, and needed to spend more time there. Workouts suffered and diet was not as good as it has been. But hey this is just a speed bump. I am allowing this one week of grace, and working on a new plan of action for next week.

Sometimes before we move forward we need to pause, so I am enjoying this moment of pause and reflection. Then I am going to get back to the rebuilding project that is me.