Breaking Down a breakdown.

Well, I am officially going on the record as this past week has been more than I would like to have borne. This is going on two plus weeks of being sick, whether its been a cold or an ear infection or whatever other random crap my body seems to be throwing at me, I am just so very much done with being sick.

I think that the reason that my body is going all haywire is that it literally has forgotten how it feels to work out. No longer is it accustomed to being torn down daily and asked to regenerate over night, it has been in full blown "what the F?" mode. This is the hardest pill I think that I have ever had to swallow, I have been forced to see that I totally fell off of the wagon so to speak. Where as I used to be this fit, high intensity workout machine that yearned to be stretched and broken, and rebuilt I am now this out of shape tattered shamble of what I once was. The best analogy I can come up with is I feel like a ghost town. Where once stood a prospering city of gold and silver, now there is only dust and tumbleweeds.

Okay now that you know that I totally suck at being sick, and apparently love to spin tales of despair when I am not feeling a 100%, I will tell you this. Me week sucked I hit a physical and emotional wall trying to work out while sick. I did not eat as well as I could, and my workouts lacked the heart that I have been showing in recent weeks. I lost 1 pound this week, and honestly it almost made me cry. Not because it was not what I wanted, not because I was ashamed that the weight was coming off slower than I thought it would, but because I hated what I was doing, and I was not committed to the task at hand like I had been, and I still lost a pound. Through all the emotions and doubts that continually invade my mind as I try to find out if I really have it in me to be healthy, its like my body is trying to show me that despite being sick and despite me not being completely on board this week it wants to get better, and I need to just keep trying, that time, and a lack of discipline got me into this mess, and only time and hard work is going to pull me out of this mess.

I am sorry that I cannot be inspiring this week, I wish that I had some great words of wisdom, but honestly its all that I can do today to share this past week's struggles. I hit a bump in the road, and I am sure that there are many to come in the future, but I will choose to persevere this time, the next time, and anytime that it all seems to damn tough, because I don't want this to be one of those things that you don't get done and say "oh well, maybe next time" this is my time, and my life, and I will not continue to get in the way of myself.

Again sorry for the bummer week, but hey I am sure that we've all had them.

Regards,
Juan